Headlines from 2029

Headlines from the Year 2029
(THAT’S ONLY 20 YEARS FROM NOW!!!!
)

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions
in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern
United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!
Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate
heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .
No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89
and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study:
Diet & Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third
consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such
a fast shutter speed they now can photograph
a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR
even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter
and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Headlines from the supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,
fly swatters & rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what….
NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!
It’s The Government That Scares Me!

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1 Comment

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One response to “Headlines from 2029

  1. Totally laughing my head off here!

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